Have yourself a merry little something...

So here I am, once again a bad blogger. We sit here at December fifth...remembering this year for whatever it was to each one of us. All our blessings, and all of our faults, are laid out behind us to reflect upon and remember with a bit of love and grimacing no matter what we've been through. This time last year, if you told me I'd be living in Florida I probably would have laughed in your face. But here I sit, this random Sunday night (slash Monday morning) at the beginning of December reflecting on the year that has past and looking forward to the year to come.

If I had to pick one significant thing to talk about from this year past, it would naturally be my move to Orlando. I've never done anything like this in my life and, if you want to delve into the depths of my brain, really never thought I'd do anything like this....ever. But here I sit, thousands of miles away from all that is familiar, still up to my old games. Staying up way too late, for no apparent reason, spending my nights playing video games and reading books and trying every day to be as splendidly happy as possible.

I can check the first few things off my list, for sure. I have a super comfortable bed (thanks to Renee and Robert, no thanks to Vista Way), plenty of food, and enough extra money that I can't decide if I want to spend my extra cash this pay check on Christmas gifts or a massage for myself (I'm very much a one-for-them, one-for-me kind of Christmas shopper). I have more than enough to be thankful for, but it's hard to remember why I'm here some days when all I want in this world is to be in Val and Jeff's living room watching Elf and laughing with my best friend about all the years we've gone Christmas shopping together and make jerks of ourselves.

There I go again, pulling a Lauren and getting choked up. Awell, I suppose it's bound to happen my first year away from home. But I digress....

I'm doing very well at work, you might be happy to discover. My Chef and Sous Chefs seem to have a lot of faith in me and that means a lot. Saying it means a lot might not even do it justice when in reality I am grateful (and a little surprised) more than I can even put into words. It's nice to know that a major life change at 30 has paid off (or is starting to, if you want to get technical). I'm very happy and feel more blessed than you can ever know. It really helps that I have amazing co-workers (who are some of my closest friends) that make every day worth going to work for.

Long story short (Fluffy and Renee might get a kick out of that), life is good. I am constantly thinking of different ways to make myself better all while trying to enjoy Florida and my new life to the fullest.

It's hard. I'm sad a lot more days than I'd like to admit. I miss my mom and Willow and my Dad and sister and all my friends more than I can ever, ever say. I know in my heart I'm doing the right thing by staying here...and I am happy. I really am...but especially knowing that Christmas is coming and feeling what it felt like to miss Thanksgiving at Granny and Popa's...I'd be lying if I told you that it didn't bother me. In the end, it will get easier. I will be a better person and a better Chef because of all of this, and for that I am eternally grateful. I am fully aware of how lucky I am to be where I'm at...I just wish I were made of stone sometimes so I didn't have these hard days.

Of course, if I were made of stone...I probably wouldn't be who I am to begin with. That being said, I wouldn't trade my life for all the lives in all the world. I am the luckiest Texan transplanted to Florida that ever lived.

And for that, I am truly grateful.

Happy eating,
Lauren

"Food is our common ground, a universal experience." - James Beard